Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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