Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
