So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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