would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
