The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
