can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
