I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
did you just send me my own nude
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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