Sponge bath it is.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
