pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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