So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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