i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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