I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I could make wine with my vomit
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
