I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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