I wish I only lived at night.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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