Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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