I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Randomize
