I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Semen is not good for contacts.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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