So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
