I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize