Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
