I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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