Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
