I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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