my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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