She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
