I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
