sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
This is not my ceiling
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize