i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
