..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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