too bad you live with your parents still
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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