nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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