Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
