That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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