You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
