Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
