Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
