I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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