i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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