He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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