Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize