the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
