his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
