im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
