he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
