is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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