i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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