No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
