She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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