i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
