I only kidnapped one of them. chill
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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