we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
