I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
