between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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