Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
