It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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