Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
