She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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