ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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