My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
