He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
