dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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