My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Oh god it's open bar.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
