Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize