We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
