Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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