There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
