this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
