Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
