I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize