my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
