Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize