I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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