see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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