Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
