i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
