im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
40s are totally the cure
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize