She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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