I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Screwed.edu
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
