he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
