i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
